All her favourite fruit

Two Gorgeous Kittens Looking for Homes!

Wed, 13 Feb 2008 02:38:11 GMT

These two sassy ladies are in need of a loving home! I've been fostering them for a local shelter, but their resources are so stretched at the moment that there is a good chance that they will get put down if they present any signs of flu when they go back.

DMH/F/14wks (nickname: Fluffy)

Fluffy is an affectionate potential fridge magnet model. She loves to play and cuddle, especially with her uncle Tweek. She is known to squish into funny spaces and get tangled in her toys.

DSH/F/14wks (nickname: Domino, formerly E. Twin)

Domino lives to play, but always ends up asleep on your lap. She is very loyal and cuddly, but definitely has a wild side. Be careful if you a wearing jeans! She sees this as an invitation to scale your leg and cling to your hip as you walk around the house.
(Please excuse her sore, gunky eyes! She is on a course of medication at the moment and will be in perfect health when she is ready for adoption)

Adoption

They are being adopted through a shelter so they cost $90 each, which includes desexing, vaccinations, microchipping, initial worming and 1 month free vet treatment if they get sick with something they picked up in between my house and yours. (Make sure any existing pets are up to date with vaccinations!)

They are quite attached to each other, so it would be preferable if they could be adopted together. Not only would you have TWO KITTENS, but also the benefit of them not getting bored, lonely and destructive because they'd burn up all their kitten energy playing together.

On Cat Flu

Something like 95% of shelter kitties will catch cat flu in their early months. It is easily treatable, a short course of antibiotics will usually cure them completely. Sometimes they may need a combination of tablets and eye-drops if the symptoms are severe.

I'm medicating these kittens for flu at the moment, and they will go up for adoption when they recover. Unfortunately relapses are possible, especially in the stressful shelter environment, and the quarantine is so full that they have no choice but to put them down before they spread the infection further.
It's extremely likely they will stay totally healthy! They are just so special and lovely that I refuse to put them in a situation where they may be facing the needle -- I want to ensure that they find excellent homes.

PLEASE SPREAD THE WORD! It is law that everyone knows at least a million people who are ready to welcome a baby kitty into their lives. Their brothers and sister have found homes, now it's their turn.

All enquiries -- Emily (0435 149 144 or emily.marcelle@gmail.com)

The best thing on the internet ever

Sun, 06 Jan 2008 09:52:21 GMT

TWO CATS TALKING TO EACH OTHER!

And then...
TRANSLATION!

Today's headlines

Wed, 02 Jan 2008 08:30:51 GMT

I just went to The Age website and, I swear to god, these were the top nine headlines.

Shot man clings to life

Boyfriend 'runs over' his girlfriend

Girl's drowning a tragic warning

Woman finds father hacked to death

Man remanded over daughter's murder

Dead python's fangs prised from leg

Powder scare at US, Israeli embassies

Dozer driver dies clearing firebreak

Police identify body in park

What a day.

--

2007 music update coming.

THIRTY EIGHT??

Sat, 29 Dec 2007 05:36:00 GMT

I'm in a furnace. I wish I could peel off my skin. I could take the laptop downstairs where it's marginally cooler, but the battery gets so hot it would make more sense to turn on the heater, then the oven, then light all four gas burners and hold my head over the stove until my face melted off. I'm shoveling down these deformed, soggy Maltesers, the only Christmas chocolate not completely fused to its packaging. We don't have any food left that can be consumed without some form of cooking, but I will starve before I voluntarily raise the inside temperature.

I've decided I can't write about 2007, with all its grief and strangeness. Brief summary: My first trip to emergency. Abysmal university application interview. Moved into a sharehouse with a balcony on the roof. Huxley's life was tragically cut short, Muffin's reached a quiet end. Tweek went missing three times, the last for fifteen days -- trapped by his spine and left starved and partially paralysed. He is recovering gently. Missed Glance St. Started a job I hated, then failed to show up one morning and never answered my phone again. Counseling. Anxiety medication. Vomiting. Kevin '07. Maxine '13! Talks of marriage. Made t-shirts for various celebrities. Learnt to drive. Dropped off the face of the earth.

I'm all about the future now.

2 0 0 8

Vanuatu in May

21 in April

Organise my life

Get my license before June

Learn to crochet!

Go to uni?

Make a fortune on the internet

Don't treat lifestyle magazines as some sort of gospel

Save for a deposit on a house

Eat less

Watch more reality TV

EB Games application

Thu, 27 Dec 2007 22:10:08 GMT

I'm so sick of applying for jobs. But I'm even more sick of not having any money.

---

6.    What are your top five skills?

Putting inedible things in my mouth
Getting trapped when trying to put on a jumper or changing the doona cover
Extreme carelessness and lack of coordination
Expecting everyone to do things my way
Ignoring the task at hand

7.    What previous retail experience do you have?

Little to none.

8.    What specifically can you bring to EBGames that makes you the best candidate to hire?

A general indifference to your business and extremely limited knowledge of the industry.

9.    Why do you want to work for EBGames? (Short explanation only)

The EB staff never do anything, and I believe I have the skills to match this standard of incompetence and general contempt for customers.

10.    What three words describe your personality?

Neurotic
Narcissistic
Violent

---

I don't think I've posted since August or something. I should do a year summary doovy! That probably won't happen.

Second Life is stupid.

Wed, 08 Aug 2007 06:44:54 GMT

I joined Second Life recently, cos Frase had it on his computer for uni. It's mostly pretty lame, but here are some awesome adventures.

This is me with a giant cat, in a place where everything was really big and I was very small. See also - me sitting on an alien, on a giant laptop, pictured above. I'm wearing a raccoon tail that some nice furries gave me.

This is me and Harry, who was in class at the time, in our pants-free utopia. Harry is violating my rocket launcher. My tail is now on my head, I also found a party hat.

Pulling things out of my inventory and attaching them to myself. It was all things like beachballs and bubble guns until I found an item called "Cabin". I thought "surely this can't be an actual cabin" - but alas, suddenly had a massive house sticking out of my butt. Seen here from my perspective, then Harry's.

Darth Vader tricked us into sitting on a couch that turned us into "Gumby".
"EVERYONE IZ GUMBI!"
When Harry walked he kicked himself in the back of the head. The admins told us we had been "n00bed" and had to log out and in to go back to normal. We wanted to stay like this forever.

A battle with Vader, inside my ass-cabin (now on the ground.) He was a real jerk.

Mounting a drumkit at the TripleJ Unearthed cave. It wouldn't let me sit on the seat, so I was forced to get cosy with the cymbal. I also stretched my underpants down into leopard-print HOTpants.

After touching a magic disco ball under the sea, I am unable to stop dancing like I have downs.

Ten minutes later, on a different part of the island, I am still jiggling uncontrollably.
To a passer-by: "help! i can't stop the boogie!"

ADVENTURE TO SEXY BEACH! Where everything is sexy. The strange man with breasts wanted to be my friend, but I declined. He stepped in front of a particularly disgusting couple just as I took the photo, but I didn't notice until later >:|

My 2ndLaif name is Glahs Seiling, totally add me!

I noticed recently that Huxley is almost as big as Tweek, but he still looks like a kitten. I think this means he is going to grow into some kind of wolf-monster.

OMGOMG

Thu, 02 Aug 2007 00:15:50 GMT

GUESS WHAT GUYS? WE GOT A HOUSE! I'm not sure if I actually mentioned that we were looking for one... and that we were having absolutely no success because the rental market is SO INSANE and all the places were going to corporate couples who make eight times as much money as us. But we found this beautiful townhouse in Brunswick, just north of the zoo, that had been totally trashed by these gross bogans so no one wanted it except us! And they're going to clean it so it won't be trashed when we move in, in two weeks.

We're moving in with Tessa and Jason so it's going to be all crazy party sharehouse living. Tweek and Huxley are coming too. It has three bedrooms, and three bathrooms, and rooftop decking so we can have roof parties in summer! We'll also have pretty much every gaming console ever, and seven sets of parents between us.

I'm so insanely excited! But also sad to leave little Glance St... mainly all the kitty friends we've made. Huxley is going to be really sad about leaving his bf, Herbie. But I'm sure there'll be lots of other kitty friends at our new house.

Yayyayay! And Fraser is 21 on Saturday! Everything is so exciting!

Who is the real hero?

Tue, 03 Jul 2007 10:09:50 GMT

Frase wrote this to fill space in the next edition of Catalyst (he's a co-editor this month!) I drew it, but took my damn time about it. Hooray for deadlines making me get things done!

Sun, 01 Jul 2007 08:00:57 GMT

The cats that live nextdoor, Herbie and Bird, have been coming over to play with Tweek and Huxley. So much cuteness! I even made a video.

This photo makes me laugh - it's Bird and Huxley ambushing Frase, who is lying on the ground with the camera.

In disgusting news, we opened a can of tomato soup the other day and it was completely black! Ewwa! It smelt like... burnt? I guess. It was like motor oil.

Gross.

Gone all goofy.

Tue, 19 Jun 2007 09:35:39 GMT

I started on a new medication about a week ago and it's finally starting to take effect. The bizarre thing is that I woke up this morning completely stoned out of my brain. It wore off but I'm wondering if it will happen again. More like, hoping it doesn't happen when I'm at work or something. It went more or less exactly like this:

Later, I couldn't stop stroking my face.

(Is that too big to have without a cut? I'm not sure, I think it's borderline. Let me know if it bothers you. But be polite! Or I'll post it again but bigger. Man I hate those peeps who are all like "CUT! CUT!" all in yr face like they own the place or something sheesh)

Sat, 16 Jun 2007 03:26:51 GMT

A video of me from about midnight last night:

I'm pretty sick. I have two new jobs. Actually I have one job at Lincraft and basically had to turn the other one down because I'm too sick to go to the training day today. Lame! My driving has been put on hold due to Dad's car breaking down and I've started on a course of medication that is making me sicker than I was to begin with. BUT -- I'm saving up to buy a new computer, and we're moving house in a couple of months (hopefully to somewhere AWESOME) and... I think that's about it. I might post a comic today, but I basically just want to curl up and die. We've only got two episodes of the West Wing to go! Ever! I expected it to be pretty bad after Aaron Sorkin left, but it picked up a lot in Season 6. And to be honest I don't miss a lot of his ridiculous monologues about "leaning out into the darkness and licking the stars of tomorrow", or whatever he was on about. People don't just casually throw those things into conversation. I'M SORRY MR SORKIN BUT MAYBE YOU WERE ON TOO MUCH COCAINE TO NOTICE THAT.

I'm going to go drink some hot chocolate, then experience it again in reverse half an hour later.

Awesome Ways to Die - #1

Wed, 30 May 2007 09:26:31 GMT

Not much is happening. I got a job at Lincraft but they're being bitches and refusing to organise the part of having a job that involves actually being employed. I've stupidly agreed to go away with my family again over Christmas this year, because I get a paid holiday to Sydney and I'm allowed to catch the train rather than fly. I've also been promised time to myself and not being involved in stressful family bonding activities EVERY SINGLE SECOND OF THE GODDAMN DAY. But they promised that last time too and look how that turned out. Still, if I didn't sign up for these masochistic adventures what else would I fill my memoirs with?

Dad is teaching me to drive. He made me go on the roads on my second lesson and I'm proud to say I only had four panic attacks and only burst into tears once. I am looking to improve these figures on my third lesson when I tackle third gear.

Mon, 14 May 2007 11:19:41 GMT

This one looks pretty terrible but fuck you.

Sat, 05 May 2007 10:49:51 GMT

ATTENTION! Peter Combe is doing a gig at The Corner Hotel on Sunday 20 May and EVERYONE has to come. Because it will be brilliant. EVEN THOUGH this photo makes him look like a paedophile:

He looks a lot like that guy who used to hang around our school and masturbate against the wall at the tram stop. Anyway, I last saw Mr Combe perform about seventeen and a half years ago. I have this feeling he was supported by Rod Quantock, which seems strange now but made sense at the time. Come! We'll be drunk and merry and sing all those classics of early 90s toddlerhood.

This whole post is an excuse to ask if anyone will come see Bobby Flynn with me. Pleeeease? Anyone? It's only $20! And his hair is so big! You get your value for money in hair alone!

Todd Goldman!

Thu, 26 Apr 2007 05:40:48 GMT

sirive made a post about the evils of a certain millionaire "artist" named Todd Goldman (of Boys are stupid, throw rocks at them fame.) Basically, he is making a lot of money by plagiarising other people's pictures! Like woah! You should read about how nasty he is here. I've decided he is so horrible that the logical conclusion is for him to be eaten by snakes.

I think I need to give up on this inkbrush thing... I miss the bland security of pens. Did I tell you I got a scanner for my birthday? Well I did. I'm thinking of starting a daily-ish comics journal. Wish me luck!

P.S. Kitten (still nameless) and Tweek are getting along pretty well; when the kitten gets too close, Tweek whacks him really hard on the head. Like, you can hear the crack as the paw hits the skull. Friends!

Friends!

Sun, 15 Apr 2007 08:07:12 GMT

kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten

Thu, 12 Apr 2007 07:25:01 GMT

BEST BIRTHDAY PRESENT EVER!!!!!!!!

My mum is sooooo pissed off. BUT WHATEVER. WE HAVE A KITTEN. She crushed all my initial plans of kittenhood because she didn't approve, but now that it's a gift I'm technically not going out of my way to defy her. He is sooooo cute and tiny and just wants to snuggle all day. We don't have a name for him yet, any suggestions would be welcome. I want a cat called David Bowie, but kitten just isn't rockstar enough.
I'm changing this to an LJ cut so you can all appreciate the cuteness without clicking all those links.

More photos!

Thu, 05 Apr 2007 00:51:42 GMT

Fraser has been writing a lot of comics (like, A LOT of comics) and I've been, well, mostly failing to draw them for him. But I've done two! This is my very first attempt at inking with a brush. The paper was a bit thin so it bled, and my hand is way shaky. I bought a $9 brush but it annoyed me a lot and kept splitting, so I bit the bullet and invested in a Windsor&Newton Series 7. But it turned out they were on sale (that or the cashier was an idiot), plus I got a 20% student discount, so in the end it was only $10!

Sorry about the low quality; I'll be getting a scanner for my birthday. Which is tomorrow! Happy Birthday!

This other comic got published in the RMIT Newspaper! It was also written by Fraser, and got published under his name (not that I'm bitter). Everyone should go pick up a copy (it's free!)

It looked bettyer in Catalyst. Photoshop compression killed it >:(

I would like to announce that he has got a new job as a publisher/editor for a psychology magazine called Forethought. He has to wear a suit and everything! To celebrate, I bought him a baked lemon cheesecake with strawberries on top. It took me forever to find one, it seems the city of Melbourne is staging some sort of cheesecake boycott.

Thu, 29 Mar 2007 22:38:17 GMT

ONE: Cut a hole in a box
TWO: Put your Tweek in that box
THREE: Make her open the box
...And that's the way you do it!

It's my Tweek in a box... my Tweek in a box, babe
It's my Tweek in a box, my Tweek in a box, girl
Christmas; Tweek in a box
Hanukkah; Tweek in a box
Kwanzaa; a Tweek in a box
Every single holiday, a Tweek in a box
Over at your parent's house, a Tweek in a box
Mid day at the grocery store, a Tweek in a box (yeah-wow-wow-wow-wow-wow)
A Tweek in a box, a Tweek in a box, a Tweek in a box...

Fri, 23 Mar 2007 12:13:45 GMT

I haven't updated for a month! So here is a totally radfunky meme!

Crush this person!
Get your own ThisCrush.com CrushTag!

I'm the sickest I've been in quite some time and on the verge of a nervous breakdown, but on the plus side we've run out of food.

We went to Fry's house the other week to make muffins, they were pretty delicious, though we forgot to buy non-salted macadamias. I also assembled a fan today. BY MYSELF. AND IT WORKS. I am so proud of myself. I've become addicted to daytime TV. I'm slowly losing my mind.

Deal or No Deal makes me cry.

"Look what god can do"??

Tue, 27 Feb 2007 00:13:41 GMT

God, Channel Nine, way to show a clip of Martin Scorsese holding an Oscar in the middle of the Academy Award broadcast. It would have been nice to see Peter O' Toole win, largely because I didn't think he'd live out the night, but I suppose it serves him right for not playing a biographical character.

I'd like to work out the statistics on actors who have won Oscars for playing a real person. I was looking at the winners lists but didn't know most of the films well enough to know if they were based on true stories or not. I did establish that 8 out of the 10 Best Actor/Actress awards in the past five years have been biographical roles. What's with that! I thought you were only meant to get an Oscar for playing a spastic. Obviously I haven't been paying attention.

Some exciting things that have happened:

Fraser's mother smuggled party drugs out of New Zealand for us. They've legalised these organic versions of ecstasy, speed, dope, etc. You can buy them at bottleshops! They look like blue Panadols. I'm a bit scared to try them, but I don't think they'd have much effect.

After months of discussion we finally decided to get a kitten! Now we just need to work out how to do it without the landlord being notified. We went around a few different shelters. The Lort Smith kittens were all sick, The Cat Protection Society ones were all really bitchy and the RSPCA ones were awesome but the woman there was so incredibly rude to us that I never want to go back.

We had a seasonal "Culture Night", going to a Vietnamese restaurant then heading off to a playground to get tanked. Speedy split his face open flying off a high speed roundabout and, later, the police came! They drove right into the park and took McCoy's details. Exciting!

Getting a job seems to be about who you know rather than what you can do. Does anyone have a job for me?

Here are some photos, mainly from Juliana's birthday picnic last Saturday.

This kitten, Mercury, had its eye exploded by its friend, Schmoo, just six days before this photo was taken. So fucking hardcore. He was on his way home from the vet but stopped in at the picnic to schmooze everyone for pats. He was so totally unfussed about being a cyclops!

Julz, Loki, Jackie and two others.

Julz, trying to fix Vicky's broken vintage camera, and Loki's bizarre ram's horns.

Mercury trying to help fix the camera. Toooo cute.

At the Cat Protection Society the next day. This cat was all "Let's be friends!" but didn't like the camera. C .

This cat was the muthafuckin' king of the cage. Its legs were like two ft long. I got the feeling if you pissed it off it would end you.

I have no plans for... I was going to say the rest of the day, but really I could extend that to "the rest of my life". Troubling.

Fri, 23 Feb 2007 06:53:25 GMT

Sooooooooo..... who wants to drive us to the Cat Protection Society to buy a kitten on the weekend?

:D

Say Cheese!

Thu, 15 Feb 2007 06:45:03 GMT

Fraser caught him mid-yawn, poor kitty. In cute news, he made friends with the kitten across the road yesterday. They sniffed each other's faces, then Tweek ran away and the kitten tried to jump on his back. So cute! We're thinking about getting a kitten of our own. Y'know... for Tweek. Not for me. No.

Sodomy Club 7

Sun, 11 Feb 2007 01:23:09 GMT

Sat, 10 Feb 2007 01:28:10 GMT

Meme is closed! In the end not many people attempted it so I rewarded them all with drawings! Sorry about the low quality, I had to use a digital camera rather than a scanner.

Here are the Answers and Results. First off Nyssa (pennyslemonade), my sister in 90s pop, got in very early with a guess for 5ive... but GOT THE SONG WRONG. I nearly cried. 1/2 point.

Fry (fryboy) was next with no guesses, but an observation that he is a jerkface. This is true. 0 Points.

Erin (pixsky) jumped in, waving the pom poms for the early 90s. She wowed the judges by recognising not only the song, 100% Pure Love, but the BAND, Crystal Waters. I'm not sure even I would have known the band. Also she got Blur. 2 Points.

Fraser (rogue_scholar) did very well with 11 correct (and semi-correct) guesses adding up to 9 1/2 points. Unfortunately I forgot to mention that there is a -3 point penalty for being my bf and listening to my music every day. 6 1/2 points.

Jon (omnigoat) swooped in and correctly guessed all the Belle & Sebastian songs. They are his only friends. 2 Points.

Leon (rhythmicsilence) got all the songs I expected him too, although I was hoping he would totally clean up. Still, not a shabby result: 4 Points.

Surprise entrant andythesaint correctly guessed two songs, and received a bonus point for using an icon that matched the guesses! 3 Points.

McCoy (blindly_fumblin) admitted that he knew nothing about anything EXCEPT being a sexy ManGod. 0 Points.

A late entry by Alison (schmooze) proved her the true winner as she was the only one to correctly guess which 5ive song the lyric came from! She also knew the Audreys and I cannot for the life of me work out how. 3 Points.

And... there is no winner!

Patty (pattypoo) submitted an impressive list, although sadly got the names of the 5ive and Blur songs wrong. Blur was close, but someone winning by 1/4 point would be pretty dodgy. 8 points.
Jackie (tangledtale) was trailing by one point, but came back with a correct for Joanna Newsom (after some prompting.) 8 points.

IT'S A TIE! OMFG 3 CHEERS FOR PATTY AND JACKIE!

Congratulations everyone else! Here are The Answers:

1. Here we are, shooting stars = Damien Leith - Night of my Life

2. She went over to his apartment, clutching her decision = Ani Difranco - School Night

3. I slept all day, I awoke with distaste = = Joanna Newson - Sprout and the Bean

4. I drive alone, home from work, and I always think of her = Camper Van Beethoven - All Her Favourite Fruit. No one got this one, and I haven't listened to it in years, but I put it on enough mix CDs in year 10 for at least SOMEONE to recognise it.

5. Well met, well met, said an old true love = Augie March - Men Who Follow Spring The Planet 'Round

6. Judy wrote the saddest song, showed it to a boy in school today = Belle & Sebastian - Judy and the Dream of Horses

7. If you're seeking repair for figure eights in the ice in your stare = Architecture in Helsinki - Scissor Paper Rock

8. Duty, who's your master? Who gave you fingers? = Augie March - The Baron of Sentiment

9. Do you feel like a chain store? Practically floored = Blur - Coffee & TV

10. I get high on a buzz then a rush when I'm plugged in you = Goldfrapp - Strict Machine

11. It's 12 past midnight, don't close your eyes = Crystal Waters - 100% Pure Love

12. I didn't want to know, I just didn't want to know = A Perfect Circle - Blue

13. I've got a crush on a girl, it makes me go spastic = Talkshow Boy - Chiming the Descant Like I'm 13 Again

14. If I could open my arms, and span the length of the Isle of Manhattan = Death Cab For Cutie - Marching Bands of Manhattan

15. Her name was Lola = Copacabana - Barry Manilow

16. I tell you how I feel but you don't care = Sleep to Dream - Fiona Apple

17. I'm busy throwing hints that he keeps missing = Sugababes - Push the Button

18. Five bad boys with the power to rock you *sigh* = 5ive - Slam Dunk Da Funk

19. See how close I can get to keep my socks from getting wet = Pony Up! - The Truth About Cats & Dogs is That They Die

20. Why don't you ask him if he's going to stay? = Fleetwood Mac - Tusk

21. She answered our ad wanted, we had a vacancy = Darren Hanlon - Punk's Not Dead

22. Look at the kid from school, he's teaching mamas and papas how to be a little cool = Belle & Sebastian - The Blues Are Still Blue

23. Had a little bit to drink = The Whitlams - You Sound Like Louis Burdett

24. You're everybody's second home, always trying to get me alone = Heatmiser - Plainclothes Man

25. Oh gorgeous thing, when you gonna get out there and sing? = The Audreys - You and Steve McQueen

Who is going to St Kilda Fest tomorrow?